Golf
by Bob · 18 June 2026 · Humor & Satire
Golf in New Zealand: always against the wind. Factoring it in and getting it right are different skills. Golf is not relaxing — it's a 40-year conversation with your limitations. Handicap has been 12 for six years. Pro says potential for 10. Bob thinks he says that to everyone. His wife is somehow a nine. He doesn't talk about this.
Golf in New Zealand is played against the wind. Not sometimes — always, because New Zealand is a narrow island chain in the southern ocean and the wind has nowhere more important to be. You learn to factor it in. You also learn that factoring it in and accounting for it correctly are different skills, and that the gap between them is where most of my rounds live.
I took up golf in 2003 under the impression it would be relaxing. This was incorrect. Golf is not relaxing. Golf is a forty-year conversation with your own limitations conducted in pleasant surroundings, which I admit is preferable to conducting it somewhere unpleasant, but it is not, at any point, relaxing. My handicap has been twelve for six years. My pro says I have the potential to get to ten. I think he says this to everyone.
My wife plays occasionally and is somehow a nine. I don't talk about this.
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