Finding You in the Dark – Vol. 1 (3)

༺CHAPTER 23༻ _We need to talk!_ Lia's message echoed in Leesa's head. The message stayed displayed on Leesa's screen. Lia. Who had gone abroad. Who wasn't supposed to be back until next week. Leesa felt her throat tighten. Jess saw her face change expression. He leaned forward slightly to see the message. At the same time, his hand brushed hers once more. "Who is it?" asked her mother from behind her. She picked up the towel and placed it on Jess's shoulders. "Is it Lia?" Leesa hid her phone by placing it face down on the table. A little too late, since her mother had time to see the name. "Yes, it's her." "Then answer her. Don't worry about us, it's fine." Leesa unlocked it. The "We need to talk!" was followed by three little dots appearing. Disappearing. Coming back. Jess was drinking his tea. He said nothing. But he was watching Leesa. Not the phone. Her. Lia's new message came through: "I bet you're with Jess right now?" Leesa dropped her phone on the table. The noise made everyone jump. Her mother frowned and picked up the phone that had fallen to the floor to hand it back to her. She read the message out of reflex. Total silence. You could have heard a pin drop, and especially the rain against the windows. She set the phone down gently. "So, this isn't the first time Jess has been at the house?" Her phone was ringing. Lia was calling this time. And there, in the kitchen that smelled of herbal tea, Leesa understood that the secret was no longer one — not for Lia, not for her mother.

༺CHAPTER 24༻ The phone kept ringing. Louder. Her mother didn't take her eyes off Leesa. Jess was gripping his cup tightly. Leesa answered, in a low voice: "Hello?" Lia was direct — no "how are you," she went straight in: "Are you with him or not?" "Uh... What makes you... say that?" "Stop lying, Leesa. I know you're with him!" Her throat was tight. Again. Leesa didn't answer. She put the call on mute for two seconds and looked at her mother. Her mother repeated, more softly: "This isn't the first time, is it?" Jess was silent — you might even have thought he wasn't there. He set his cup down and wanted to speak, but he waited for Leesa to go first. Leesa was stuck. Two people were waiting for an answer. At the same time. "I offered you tea, Leesa. Not a lie." She had to choose — either answer Lia or answer her mother. She made that choice quickly. Her mother came before everyone else. She hung up on Lia with a: "I'll call you right back." Lia said "No!" just before Leesa hung up. "I need to talk to you, Mum. I'm sorry..."

༺CHAPTER 25༻ Jess understood he had to leave. He set his towel down and finished his tea quickly. Jennie, Leesa's mother, wasn't looking at him with anger, but with disappointment — or worry. That was even worse. "I'll leave you to it. Goodbye, Madame." He left with a wave to Leesa. Leesa stammered: "I'm sorry, Mum. For not telling you anything." She didn't explain right away. "I trusted you, Leesa." "That's exactly why I want to talk to you about it now, so there are no more lies." Jennie sat down. She was waiting for an answer. "Go on. I'm listening." Leesa confessed everything — Jess who had been coming for a while now, not just today, the open window, the kiss, the fact that they weren't really enemies anymore... Jennie didn't shout. She wasn't angry, or disappointed. She asked just one question: "Do you love him?" Leesa had a moment of clarity. She realised she didn't have the answer, or perhaps she did but didn't dare say it. She opened her mouth. No sound came out. Her phone vibrated again. Lia. A message. _Are you seriously for real, Leesa?_ Her mother saw Lia's message over her shoulder. "You haven't said anything to Lia either?"

༺CHAPTER 26༻ _KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK._ Someone was banging hard at the door. No doorbell — three sharp knocks. Leesa realised it was Lia. Her heart stopped. Jennie went to open it. Lia was there, her wavy chestnut hair soaked through. But she wasn't shivering. She was burning. You could see from her face that she wasn't joking around. She had come without an umbrella, without a jacket... She was in warrior mode. No hello. Lia looked at Leesa, who was in the kitchen. "Can I talk to her for 5 minutes?" Jennie stepped aside to let her in. Lia walked quickly towards Leesa. She took her by the wrist. "Come on, we're going to your room!" Lia was pacing back and forth in Leesa's room. "Lia, I can explain..." "No! I'm the one talking. You lied to me, didn't you? And you said nothing while I was far away!" She had come back a week early. Leesa realised what had happened. Someone had sent her a photo of her with Jess. "So?! Are you with him or not? If you lie now, we're done." Leesa had to tell the truth. No lying was possible this time. After a few minutes, Leesa finally confessed, head bowed: "Yes. I think I love him. We kissed." Silence from Lia. She was taking it in. She wasn't sad — she was proud that Leesa had finally owned it. Lia closed her eyes for a second. She took a deep breath. When she opened them, it wasn't anger anymore. "Ok." "We're best friends — why didn't you tell me anything? I'll be honest, I don't really trust Jess. You should watch yourself, Leesa. If he hurts you, I'm coming over and I'm not even joking. From now on, you tell me everything!" Lia held out her hand to Leesa — not for a hug, but for a pact. Leesa hesitated a second before taking it. When she did, Lia squeezed it hard. "I'm not letting you go!"

༺CHAPTER 27༻ Leesa's room still smelled of rain. Lia was still standing. Still soaked. Leesa had thrown her a towel. But not just any towel. The one Jess had used earlier. She was staring at the pact. Their two hands were still clasped together. "You're still shaking," said Lia. "No, you're the one shaking. You're freezing." Lia smiled. Finally. Her first smile since she'd come back. "I came back 5 days early. I took a night bus. And all of that to find out through Snap that my best friend is with Jess." Leesa lowered her head. "It's not... We're not really together. We just..." "Kissed. Twice. In YOUR room. In one night. While I thought you were studying for your tests. And I have a photo of you with Jess whispering something in your ear in a shop. Thanks, Louis." Silence. "Is he coming back tonight? And just because you kissed him doesn't mean I like him. I still hate him just as much." Leesa didn't answer. That was an answer. Lia nodded. "Ok. So here's what we do. I'm staying here to sleep. If he comes through the window, I'll punch him. And then we'll go back to sleep like nothing happened." Leesa's eyes went wide. "Lia! No!" "I'm joking. Well... Half joking." Lia sat down next to her. "Leesa. I trust you. But him, not yet. You understand?" Leesa nodded. "But he's changed, Lia. Really." "Then prove it to me. Not with your kiss. With something else." Before Leesa could answer, her phone vibrated on her desk. They both turned around at the same time. Notification. Jess. _window open tonight princess?_ As if he had heard them. Lia read it over her shoulder. She raised an eyebrow. "Princess, huh?" Leesa went red. "He's called me that since last year." "And now you like it." It wasn't a question. Lia was watching. Leesa typed, deleted, typed again... She finally sent: _not tonight, Lia is here. Tomorrow at school?_ Seen. He typed back. _ok princess. Tell the crazy one I'm waiting._ Lia read it and burst out laughing. "The crazy one? He actually said that, the loser?" She took Leesa's phone and replied herself: _It's the crazy one. If you make Leesa cry, I'll kill you. And I'm not joking. Goodnight PRINCESS_ She handed the phone back. Outside, a motorbike started up in the distance. Not Jess's. Just a car. But for the first time in a long time, Leesa's window stayed closed. And that was okay. Her mother knocked once, then came in with two hot chocolates. "I thought you two could use this." She looked at the soaked Lia, then at Leesa. She set down the cups. "Window closed tonight, girls. There's going to be a storm." She winked at Leesa. Leesa understood. Her mother knew. And she had chosen to trust her too.

༺CHAPTER 28༻ Leesa woke up first. Lia was still asleep on the floor, on the inflatable mattress, wrapped up in Jess's towel that had been lying around. Her hair was still damp. Leesa had given her an old pair of pyjamas, even though they were too big for Lia. So she'd be dry for sleeping. The window was STILL closed — the first time in a long time. Since the first time Jess had come. For the first time, her room hadn't been waiting for someone. It was early, very early. Her alarm hadn't even gone off yet. She picked up her phone. No new message from Jess. The phone showed "seen." Nothing else. That was maybe worse than if he had insisted. Downstairs, her mother was making noise in the kitchen. She wasn't coming up. She was giving them space. Outside there was no more storm. Just the silence of what she had done. Lia woke up when her alarm went off. She was acting like everything was fine. She was overdoing it — smiling too hard for it to be real. Leesa clocked it immediately: "You're pretending, Lia." Lia cracked, without crying of course. She admitted why she had come back 5 days early. She had seen the story. Louis had told her about Jess. She had been scared that Leesa would have to deal with it alone. "Do you regret it, Leesa? You don't owe me an explanation — you gave me one yesterday. Now I just want to know if you own it." "I don't regret him. I regret making you feel like you didn't matter." Leesa and Lia arrived in front of school. She had no message. He was there in person. In front of the school. He looked just as tired as she did. He didn't hold the "not tonight" against her. He just said it like a statement, not a reproach: "You closed the window." "I was scared the storm would get in. And that my mum would see." He understood. Lia was listening just behind them — you barely noticed her. Jess pulled Leesa by the hips, pressed her against him and kissed her. Not tenderly — as if they hadn't seen each other in forever. Lia rolled her eyes and pulled a face. "Oh, don't mind me, go right ahead! Am I bothering you two?" Leesa panicked. She pushed him away, telling him they couldn't, not here. The only answer Jess gave was: "Relax, princess." whispered in her ear in a low voice. Then he pressed his lips tenderly to hers again, still holding her by the hips. And for once, she didn't care that the whole school was watching.

༺CHAPTER 29༺ Leesa came home. She expected her mother to lecture her about the kiss in front of school. Her mother said nothing — she had simply left the kitchen window open. The house smelled of cold coffee. As if her mother had been waiting for her for a long time. Lia was gone. Her inflatable mattress was folded up. She had left a note on the bed: _"Thanks for letting me sleep over. It was nice. I love you Leesa. -Lia your bff"_ That note warmed Leesa's heart. For the first time, Lia had said _I love you_ to her. After dinner, Leesa went back up to her room. It was dark out. The window hadn't been opened since the night before. She hesitated two seconds, then placed her hand on the handle. This time she wasn't shaking anymore. She opened it — not for Jess, but for herself. No message. She didn't even need to send _"window open."_ She didn't even need to turn the light on. He was already down below. As if he knew. He hadn't come in through the window this time, but through the door. The hiding was over. Jennie was happy to see him, strangely enough. The window stayed open all night. And when he left he said to her: "See you in a bit, princess!"

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